I am Maddox, a computer programmer, writer and author. I can spell, draw, and do math better than your kids, so I've taken the liberty to judge work done by children. I'll be assigning a grade of A through F for each piece:
Timmothy, age 8
What you lack in talent, you make up for in wisdom. Prescient.
George W. Bush, age 66
With the skewed perspective on the mirror, mismatched tiles and your concave back, this shitty painting is still better than your presidency.
Autumn, age 4
Why will you give Jesus bread, butter, raspberries, jelly and some "blue fish with heds" in 100 years?

Jesus doesn't want your garbage. Nobody does. And drawing yourself an angel is kind of like bragging about being modest. Get some humility, douche.

Hannah, age 5
The writing prompt was "draw a picture of something you can push." Not "draw a picture of something you can rape." Don't be "that guy," Hannah.
Jared, age 6
Yeah, about that...

To quote Arnold Schwarzenegger from the movie "Predator:"


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