I am Maddox, a computer programmer, writer and author. I can spell, draw, and do math better than your kids, so I've taken the liberty to judge work done by children. I'll be assigning a grade of A through F for each piece:
Chris, age 18

Title: "Muhammad Ali Ejaculating"
Artist: Chris, age 18
Medium: Charcoal, pencil

This depiction of Muhammad Ali is the not-so-young artist's interpretation of the former boxing champion in a state of angry arousal. The artist's choice to draw one pupil misappropriately larger than the other during climax suggests that the artist has, in fact, never had sex. And apparently neither has Muhammad Ali, based on the strained war-cry-like expression when he nuts.

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