I am Maddox, a computer programmer, writer and author. I can spell, draw, and do math better than your kids, so I've taken the liberty to judge work done by children. I'll be assigning a grade of A through F for each piece:
Justin, age 7
Dear Justin,

Thank you for your drawing of my son, the savior, Jesus Christ. While I appreciate your attention to detail with his areola and hairy chest, Jesus was not, in fact, an effeminate transgendered man.

I hope your drawings improve, though considering that I made you without a modicum of talent or ability, that's unlikely.

Best,

-God

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