I am Maddox, a computer programmer, writer and author. I can spell, draw, and do math better than your kids, so I've taken the liberty to judge work done by children. I'll be assigning a grade of A through F for each piece:
Kade, age 3
Well Kade, I'd say you're the black sheep of the family, if it weren't for the fact that you have no family. Forget about sheep, let's just talk about shapes: there are none. You don't even have discernable objects in your family.

You suck full-time, even on holidays.

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