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I am Maddox, a computer programmer, writer and author. I can spell, draw, and do math better than your kids, so I've taken the liberty to judge work done by children. I'll be assigning a grade of A through F for each piece:
Hannah, age 5
Why is God shorter than you? And why is he wearing a cabbie hat? Why are there so many fucking hearts everywhere?

The creator of the universe has better things to do than to listen another shitty "hot cross buns" performance on a recorder. You're 5. Get over yourself, bitch!

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